MIND - YOUR BUSINESS

One of the most interesting things I have learned about the mind is that it can be remarkably bad at recognising when the day is over, because while we may have finished work, closed the computer, walked through the door and changed into something comfortable, somewhere behind our eyes the day can still be humming at full volume.

I used to think this was simply overthinking, but I have learned over time that our brain is particularly good at holding onto anything unfinished, unresolved or potentially important. An unanswered email, an awkward conversation or something we need to remember tomorrow can occupy far more space in our mind than all the things we completed beautifully that day.

There is actually a name for part of this - the Zeigarnik effect, our tendency to remember unfinished or interrupted tasks more readily than completed ones - and understanding this changed the way I respond when my mind refuses to switch off.

Instead of becoming frustrated with myself, I ask, What is my brain trying so hard not to forget?

Often I write it down, because there is something surprisingly powerful about placing a thought onto paper and allowing my brain to understand, You don’t need to keep carrying this; I have put it somewhere safe.

I have also learned that thinking and solving are not the same thing, because we can replay a conversation twenty different ways, rehearse tomorrow before it arrives and mentally polish something that has already happened and cannot be changed.

Sometimes clarity becomes clear because we stop stirring the water. Our body simply needs a gentle signal that one part of the day has ended and another has begun, which can be as ordinary as changing clothes, stepping outside, putting on music, preparing dinner or doing something completely unrelated to work.

We often miss the exquisite little pieces of life happening directly in front of us - someone telling us a story, an unexpected laugh, the evening light changing colour, or enjoying a beautiful meal.

I have come to believe that attention is one of the purest forms of love we can give. There will always be another email, or another decision to make.

But there will never be another evening exactly the same as today, and that is why I have learned to put the day down.