POTS: FINDING HOPE ON DIFFICULT DAYS
There is a kind of afternoon that feels familiar to many of us with POTS. You are lying down because your body has asked you to. On days when you are hurting or exhausted, the mind can become a place of frightening questions. What if I’m still like this next month? What if I cannot do the things I love again? How long can I keep feeling this way? I know how real those questions can feel. I used to follow them as though an answer might be waiting at the end. I only found myself further from the afternoon I was actually living.
Then I changed the way I spoke to myself: I was asking a body in distress to tell me the future. It might sound weird, but the tone you use to talk to yourself really matters! My body could not sit up on difficult days. I could feel when I was tired, frightened, and in need of care. I just needed my mind to say things like - it is ok to feel frustrated, we can get through this together, or just remember this is temporary. Please speak to yourself with loving words.
This did not take away my symptoms. It gave me a way to stop carrying an imagined lifetime of them all at once. I do not know my whole future this afternoon, but it is so important to support yourself, instead of frightening yourself. If you feel able, try one of these small ways of coming back to yourself. You can stay lying down. You can stop any practice that does not feel good. There is no finish line.
Begin with the breath you already have
When breathing feels difficult, being told to take a deep breath can feel like being handed another job. So begin by noticing the breath that is already arriving. You might feel it at your nostrils, beneath a hand resting lightly on your stomach, or nowhere in particular. That is all right. Your body can feel your supportive hand on your stomach, it cannot see who that hand belongs to, but it feels soothing and comforting to your body. Let a few breaths come and go without changing them. If it feels ok, allow one breath out to be a little slower and softer than the breath in. Imagine cooling a spoonful of tea, gently enough so it stays on the spoon. Then let the next breath arrive by itself.
Try a quiet hum
On another day, try humming softly as you breathe out. Choose one low, easy note and feel its faint vibration around your lips or chest. Pause and breathe normally, then try it once more. Breathing and humming are used to help the nervous system settle, through pathways involving the vagus nerve. I try to send my hum to different parts of my body to help calm it down. Try it!
Give your mind one real thing
Fear has a way of pulling your attention into a future you cannot yet see. To find your way back, choose one thing in the room and become curious about it. Look at the patch of light on the wall. Where are its edges? Is it moving? Or hold something familiar and notice its texture: the seam of a blanket, a smooth cup, the cool glass of your phone. Listen for the furthest sound you can hear, then the nearest.
The aim is not to distract yourself from real pain. It is to remind your mind that, alongside the pain, there is still a room around you. There is still somewhere for your attention to rest. Also choose a colour and see how many items you notice with that colour in your room.
Let someone into the room
The hardest days are often the days when explaining yourself feels impossible. You can send a message with very few words: I’m having a hard POTS day. Could you sit with me for a while? You are allowed to ask for care for the whole experience, including the part that other people cannot see. If you feel unsafe, tell someone near you straight away and seek urgent help.
None of these small practices requires you to pretend that POTS is easy. Breathing, humming, noticing the room, changing a thought, or reaching out to someone will not make every symptom disappear. They are things you can try while you get the care and support you need. I have been through some very hard days with POTS, but I now have internal and external tools to help work on myself, and it really does help. Rewiring the brain and helping it feel safe is the key!!
I also have a box of self-care products beside me. I reach for them during hard times. It include things like: salty snacks, chapstick, beeswax moisturiser to massage my hands, roll-on essential oils, spray magnesium etc.
Finally - please remember the most important things are: to talk kindly to yourself, work on calming your fight-or-flight mode (helped me the most), and nourish your body with small healthy meals. I wish you all the best in your journey and remember that how you feel now, does not define how you will feel tomorrow. Just keep going and taking each day as it comes, as there really is light at the end of the tunnel.
If you would like to read my ebook on my journey through POTS here is the link:
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